A Parking Lot and the Grace of God

A few nights ago, as I was walking back to my car after running some errands, I was approached by a couple kids in the parking lot. They were about ten years old and wearing backpacks. "Sir, could you spare any change for food or a motel room." I was struck by the boy's politeness and sincerity.

In moments like these I have discovered I have an auto-pilot. It's like when someone asks me "how's it going" I never respond "Crappiest day ever. Want to hear about it?" It could very well be a crappy day, but I will almost always respond, "I'm good, you?" That's my auto-pilot response.

For people asking for money it's "Sorry, I don't have anything on me." I don't even have to think about it. It just comes out. Most of the time I'm being honest, since I don't generally carry cash.

They didn't press. They moved onto the next person coming down the parking lot.

I got into my car and just sat for a little bit. Should I have given them money? They were decently dressed. Maybe it was a scam. If I gave them money it would actually be worse for them because they would buy drugs or alcohol. That was all it took to justify my withholding.

I think I left more mad than anything. I had convinced myself that their speach was rehearsed, that their tone of voice fake, and that their intentions weren't good.

This interaction stuck with me for some time. It still sticks with me today. It's kept me thinking, wondering about what my natural response to situations like that are. Why isn't my auto-pilot response "Yah, sure" when someone asks me for money? Why do I always assume they are going to do something harmful with it?

Then it hit me. Why am I so uncomfortable giving money to homeless people or people on the street when I have no problem at all giving my money to stores and businesses who will make a profit on it. I have no control over how they will use that profit. Maybe they will do something that will be harmful to them, to their families, to society in general. I don't know. And yet, I don't think twice about giving them money.

Whether I give my money to a store or to a homeless person I have no control over how they will use it. None whatsoever. But with a store I get something out of it. With the homeless person I literally get nothing but the hope that he will use it for the betterment of himself or someone else. Generally, I'll choose the over-priced T-shirt over the hope.

Is giving to a homeless person worth it if I can't control what he will do with it? What if I knew that there was a 90% chance that he will use it for drugs? Should I still give him some money or should I hold back?

This is the beauty and tragedy of grace.

When God sent His Son to die a shameful death on behalf of all mankind He paid a tremendous price. It was more costly than I will ever grasp. And yet, He did it with no guarantee. There was no guarantee that people would respond in a way that bettered themself or society. He knew some, maybe many, people would look at this gift and flat out reject it.

He also knew some would "accept" it and then use it as freedom to do whatever they wanted. They will say, "God forgave our sins and will continue to forgive our sins, so we can do whatever we want." They will live a lifestyle that hurts God and hurts themselves, all on God's bill.

What if the rejection or abuse of God's grace was so likely that He just said it wasn't worth it to send Jesus? There was no guarantee that people would accept His grace. He wasn't forcing it on us and requiring that we accept it. Like any gift it could be rejected or misued. What if God had said it wasn't worth the risk?

Praise God that He opened His hands and gave grace to a people who would continually and regularly abuse it. Praise God that while we were still sinners He sent Jesus. Praise God that He offers this grace recklessly.

May we be people that love generously, give recklessly, and in so doing model the love and grace of a reckless Father.

Grace, peace, and generosity,

Blake

Humbling

After taking a two month sabbatical from blogging, I'm back.

I began blogging to document the new season in life. I went for about a month before getting burnt out. 4 posts burnt me out...impressed?

Well, it's definitely been an interesting few months since I left my role at Trinity as a youth director. To be honest, I anticipated a short season of joblessness before finding another great opportunity in a church. I don't think it was arrogance that led me to this assumption. I had (and still do) felt clear that God was saying that my time at Trinity as the Jr High Director was to end. I think I just assumed that meant He was leading me to something else. "Something else" in my mind was a role in high school or college ministries at a church.

Well, after many applications, a few interviews, and a roller coaster of a summer, "something else" is indeed something else. After nothing really materialized with my search for a church position, I decided to increase my load at seminary in order to finish this year. To be clear and honest, this wasn't my plan. I knew it was a possibility, but it wasn't how I expected it to go. But that's okay, because I am excited and grateful for the opportunity to finish school.

If I were to sum up this summer in one word it would be humbling. I don't say that negatively, though it has been unsought humbling. It was humbling to apply to many churches, have solid references, and feel like a strong candidate only to be ignored or rejected. It was even more humbling to be turned down from part time jobs that I felt were locks. Knowing I needed to work while going to school, I applied at BJs, YardHouse, REI and Trader Joe's. Any ounce of pride was crushed when I got rejected from each company. When REI turned me down without even interviewing me I basically threw my hands up. I had worked at REI before and had great reviews.

I am excited to say that I did get a job this week. It's not anything I would have anticipated, but I am stoked about it. I'll be doing sales for a friend's brand-new company selling ink and toner cartridges to companies. It's definitely not glamerous, but there is a lot of opportunity and I do get to work with a buddy from college. For that I'm thankful.

This year won't be what I expected. But I imagine I will look back at it years from now and know that God was working in it. I did fall in love with Washington and Colorado in the interview process and so I'm hoping that next summer an opportunity for ministry will open up there for me. For now, I get to enjoy another year with friends here. I have taken up linedancing and I'm getting back into roller hockey, so that's exciting.

Grace and Peace

Punctuated Equilibrium

So I'm in line at the auto parts store today and the guy behind me decides its time to have a serious conversation with the cashier and me. Here is what I captured from his monologue:

I'll call him Bill

Bill: "Have you guys ever heard of punctuated equilibrium?"
Cashier: "Pun cu ated Equi lib rium......hmmm....sounds familiar."
Me: (unwilling to engage)
Bill: "You may remember it from high school biology. It's why we can talk to each other. Before the meteor wiped out the dinosaurs we couldn't talk to each other. But when everything was wiped out there was then space for evolution to take place. There is no space today and that is why we don't see things evolving."
Cashier: "Oh"
Me: (still unwilling to engage)
Bill: "I think we need some punctuated equilibrium with politics today. We should wipe out all the Republicans and give the Democrats some room to evolve and make things better. Did you know that in 1956 once you earned 3.5 million dollars you were taxed 90% on everything over that? They considered anything you made above that amount wasn't a result of your own effort but from using others. Did you know that Dick Cheney was only taxed 12% on the 30 million dollars he earned last year? What do you think about that!?"
Cashier: "wow"
Me: (still unwilling to engage)
Bill: "So you see, what we need is some punctuated equilibrium. We sure as hell don't need some Sarah Palin!"

This was out of nowhere. I don't know if that is exactly what punctuated equilibrium is. Nor do I know how much Dick Cheney was taxed last year. Heck, I don't even know what I was taxed last year. I generally steer clear from politics. All I know is this, that guy seemed crazy. Like the same kind of crazy Christians are labeled for believing in God.

Now I understand that at times it is very much counter intuitive to believe in and order your life around a God you cannot see. I can sympathize with people who get frustrated when I explain that God requires faith even when we can't see Him. I can understand why people may think my explanations for why God works or doesn't work certain ways are just cop outs.

But why is it not as crazy to believe that the reason evolution doesn't take place today is because there isn't the "space" for it? Isn't that a cop out answer? Why can someone be considered rational for believing that the reason we can talk today is because a meteor created punctuated equilibrium thousands of years ago? Has anyone actually witnessed something like that taking place?

All I am saying is this.....If I am crazy to believe that God created and sustains the universe, then those who believe that there once was nothing and then a bang created a perfect universe are just as crazy. Frankly, I would argue they are more crazy.

Peace

Satan drives a Kia

Okay if you were tricked into believing rapping hamsters equated to quality automotive products you may have some issues.

But I don't think Kia is all-together bad or the vehicle of choice for the devil....but it helps in my illustration in a second.

As far as God is concerned, He is a Dodge man...I mean Dodge God. Why? Well, they have the caravan and the ram...both biblical words. Plus they have the Nitro and Viper...both classic American Gladiator names.

Okay, back to Satan driving a Kia...

One thing I have noticed in the 130,000 miles I have driven is that every car has the same two things in common on their front. They have lights and an emblem. Every Toyota has the T with a circle around it. Every Mercedes has the Mercedes emblem. It's as if they are saying, "Watch out, it's more than just a car coming it's a (fill in the blank)."

Well one day I was driving and I saw a car behind me that looked snazzy. It was fancy. You know the kind of car your grandpa drives...a Jaguar. But it wasn't like any Jaguar I had seen before. And it was missing the jumping jaguar emblem. There was absolutely no name or decal on the front. So I slowed down and let the car pass to see what was going on. And as it passed I saw what it was. It was a KIA!!! No way! It looked like a Jaguar.

Kia is smart. Kia is deceptive. They know who they are and they know what consumers want. Consumers want Jaguars, not Kias. They want the name with the reputation, not the name with the Rio. So how do you get past that if you are the Kia bigshots? Well you design your car like a Jaguar and you remove the front emblem. Maybe people will fall so in love with the design they will not care who makes it. But at the end of the day you are driving home in a Kia. This is deception.

Satan is a jerk, but he is smart...kinda. He is deceptive. He wants to sell us the life that looks full, but at the end of the day is empty and broken.

He wants girls to believe that in order to get a guy to love them they need to look or act a certain way.

He wants guys to believe that they matter or don't matter because of what they do.

If we buy into the idea that what we do makes us valuable then Satan is stoked. He is throwing a party if we begin to believe that joy comes when others think we are special. Satan is trying to get us to forget that God LOVED us first.

With God, it's what we ALREADY have (love and acceptance in Him that lasts). With Satan, it's the lie that we don't have it, but we can get it by doing or being certain things. The lie isn't in how you obtain it. The lie from Satan is that you don't have it. But you do!

You are loved, accepted, stoked on, celebrated, and rejoiced over by God.

Grace and Peace

SF to LA on bike

Here are the top ten things I learned from my bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles this week:

10. Highway 1 from Monterey to Morro Bay is some of the most beautiful and difficult road to bike.
9. There are parts of my legs that will get burned regardless of the frequency and generosity with which I apply sunscreen.
8. I never want to live in Santa Monica (no bike lanes + angry drivers = angry Blake).
7. I would love to end up in Santa Cruz, Monterrey, or San Luis Obispo at some point in my life.
6. The bike lane / shoulder seems to be the preferred place for roadkill (I saw a deer, owl, coyote, rabbit, squirrel, snakes, and birds).
5. Riding a bike for 12 hours in a day does not guarantee a good night sleep.
4. Hurricane Point near Big Sur is properly named.
3. 12.5 mile inclines are worth a 2.5 mile decline.
2. Knee pain isn't detrimental...chaffing can be.
1. Spending time with old friends is the best way to end a long ride each day.

Here is a pic from Pastor Doug's son in law's coffee shop in San Luis Obispo...best iced americano I got on the trip.

Grace and Peace

ducky wucky

It's happened over a dozen times since I made the announcement in April. When I tell people that I am leaving Jr. High at Trinity and looking for a role in High School or College I usually get the light bulb turning on look. "Oh...yah. That makes sense. Jr. Highers are so _______ (fill in the blank)" is usually what people say. To most people, I guess, jr highers are not who most adults would want to spend time with. The funny thing is, and what I try to tell everyone, I still love jr highers. This wasn't always the case. When I came to Trinity I liked 7th and 8th graders...most of the time. I admit they can test your patience at times. But at the end of the day, I would rather be hanging out with jr highers than with any other age group. They have incredible energy, imagination, silliness, and they get excited about the strangest things. And there is a depth, honesty, and sincerity about them

All that to say, I'm not leaving Trinity jr high because I got burned out or tired of jr highers. If God said that my call was to minister to jr highers for the rest of my life I would be stoked. And hey, maybe He'll say that down the road. But I do sense God is calling me to be a pastor to the whole family in the future and because of that I need to gain experience and insight in how to minister to other age groups. So I leave Trinity still crazy about jr highers and hoping that I will get a chance to play a little ducky wucky now and then at the next church.

Grace and Peace

Today is gonna be the day that I'm gonna throw it back to you...

Today is a weird day. It still doesn't feel like it, but yesterday was my last day at Trinity. As I continue to reflect on my time at Trinity I am just so grateful for the relationships and opportunities from the last four years. I wouldn't be who I am or where I am if it wasn't for the support and love of the people of Trinity. It is truly my home church and I look forward to visiting and hearing how God is moving in the future.

For the time being I have a pretty open plate. No ministry opportunity has opened up yet and so I'm in this middle area with plenty of free time. The only sure things coming up are a bike trip from SF to LA next week with Drew and a backpacking trip with my friends church in July. I may try my hand at the John Muir Trail next month or I my take it easy and go L'Abri in Vancouver (a retreat center) for a couple weeks. For now, Stout and I will hike a bunch, watch Adam drag tires in front of the house, and, together, harass Drew.

Grace and Peace

Blogging

Have you ever felt out of your element? This definitely feels out of my element. Blogging is a lot like Taco Bell...I avoid it at all costs. I'm not huge into Facebook and I have never been on that Twitter thing. This isn't the way I would prefer to stay in touch with people, but I guess it will have to do. I do really hope to stay in contact with everyone the best I can. So I will share random thoughts and stories as they come up. I'll try to update with how God is moving in my life and what Stout has chewed up lately. And my hope is that you will do the same and let me know what you are up to.

For now, here is a pic of Stout when she was 9 weeks old.